Michael: Lets play titanic; you be iceberg and I’ll go down
Luke: *turns around to laugh*
Calum: thats way too raunchy
no thats paula deen
i can’t believe it’s not butter
So I accidentally said, “my crotch has a hole in it.” Instead of “my pants have a hole in them.” And this guy looked me dead in the eyes and whispered
"It’s called a vagina."
i consider giving people dirty looks a hobby
I HEARD A DOG BARK TODAY AND I BARKED BACK AND IT REPLIED THE EXACT SAME WAY AND WE WENT BACK AND FORTH UNTIL MY FRIEND TOLD ME THAT IT WAS JUST MY VOICE ECHOING AND I HAD BEEN BARKIG BY MYSELF FOR 5 MINUTES STRAIGHT
BUT WHO BARKED THE FIRST TIME
now the weather
I feel like a proud mom watching 5sos get bigger and bigger but also like an angry grandma that never gets to see them
"5sos is a boyband"
"5sos doesn’t care about their fans"
"I ate the whole pizza"
"You are not good enough"